Football Rules of Our childhood - Cool kids will never understand this

Football Rules of our childhood - Cool kids will never understand this 

1. The fat kid is always the keeper
2. The game ends only if all players are tired (EXCEPT RULE 5)
3. No matter the score, the team that scores the last goal wins the game
4. There is no referee
5. If the owner of the football gets angry the game is over
6. The 2 best players can't play on the same team, so everyone chooses their players
7. If you are chosen the last one is a humiliation
8. If there is penalty the keeper is replaced by the best player of his team and says "not for good" to mean that after the penalty, the keeper returns to his post
9. When the football comes out of the playground to a remote destination, it's the person who did the last touch that going to get the ball
10. The best player on the ground is always on the same team as the owner of the football
11. To start a game we always said "Epp the game begins"
12. To distinguish teams, a team should play shirtless
13. Everyone chases the football and only passes when he almost loses it! 
14. You kick the football in the air to start a match
15. Its all massive attack, massive defence

If you were once a victim,  what else do you think I missed to include in the rules?